


My Dearest Bakugou

by Makuchuu



Category: Boku no Hero Academia, My Hero Academia, bhna, mha
Genre: Edgy, M/M, angsty kirishima, kiribaku angst, kirishima best boy fuck bakugou, please don’t judge me mom, suicide references so pls be careful, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 06:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16112648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makuchuu/pseuds/Makuchuu
Summary: Bakugou finds a certain letter while studying with Kirishima in his dorm...OrJust a whole lotta angst and a happy ending :))To be continued...?





	My Dearest Bakugou

**Author's Note:**

> Bakugou finds a certain letter while studying with Kirishima in his dorm...  
> Or  
> Just a whole lotta angst and a happy ending :))  
> To be continued...?
> 
> I wrote this at two am, for the love of god just kill me

My Dearest Bakugou

  
  
  


Bakugou has always had a soft spot for Eijiro Kirishima. He won’t admit it, but he knows he does. His crimson hair smells like honey, his soft voice tastes like sunflowers, and his piercing red eyes glowed like the newly bloomed roses in spring. When Bakugou said his name, it felt like a fresh breeze had blown right through his messy blonde hair. When he saw Kirishima had been struggling in school, he felt sympathetic. I wanted to help the damn idiot, so he approached him asking:

 

“Hey shitty hair, I’m coming over tomorrow night. You obviously need some fucking help.”

 

The redhead seemed shocked at first, but suddenly replied. “Uh- sure Bakugou... Is 5 okay?”

 

“Yeah, whatever.”

 

He proceeded to continue on with his day. As he approached Kirishima's door, his mind wandered. He noticed that Kirishima had been off lately. He hadn’t been spiking his hair lately, leaving it down. He didn’t mutter even a word at lunch the last few days. He looked like a lost puppy, and of course Bakugou took notice. Kirishima gazed through the windows during class, with his eyes looking painfully lost in thought. He missed his light hearted laughter, and his blinding smile. He hadn’t seen it in a while.

 

He knocked on Kirishima's door, nearly pounding on it. He heard a slight gasp from the inside of the room, and then heard the shuffling of the boy’s feet. Soon enough, Kirishima opened to door. Bakugou looked him up and down, taking notice every single detail. His hair was down, and he was wearing one of Bakugous sweaters that said “Ground Zero”… (how the fuck did he get that…) Bakugou thought to himself while silently sizing the redhead up. He had saggy shorts on and hadn’t bothered to put shoes on.

 

“Come on in.” Kirishima stepped away, allowing the blonde the aggressively push past him. They both sat on his bed, surrounded by school books, notebooks and pencils. Thoughtout the night, they continued to discuss math equations to studying for science tests.

 

“No you idiot, it’s this one. That’s the answer. Remember shitty hair?” The redhead yawned and nodded slowly.

 

“Yeah.. sorry I’m just.. tired.” He glanced over at the clock, sloppily turning his head back towards Bakugou. “It’s already 11.. shit..” He managed to yawn again, this time falling back onto the bed. Bakugou stared for a bit, then joined Kirishima, continuing to lie back on the bed next to his sleep deprived friend. Kirishima sighed and rolled onto his side, facing Bakugou.

 

“Thank you, Katsuki.” And for the first time in a while, he blessed Bakugou with that soft smile of his. Bakugou stared at the redhead, blushing profusely. He wanted to keep that smile there. Forever. Bakugou turned towards Kirishima, wrapping his arms around his thin waist. Bakugou pulled the redhead in, and did something he never thought he was capable of: hugged him. Kirishima seemed shocked, but soon hid his face into Bakugou’s chest. Bakugou held the redhead and felt his slow heartbeat. He took his hand and looked into Kirishima’s blood red eyes.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Ei? You’ve been so fucking… distant. Talk to me shitty hair!” He spoke in a angry tone, but made sure Kirishima knew he meant what he was saying. Kirishima hid his face in the blondes arm, not saying a word. Bakugou gently tilted Kirishima's face up so he was looking at him. He was shocked at the despairing look on the boys face. Kirishima had tears burning his eyes, as they fell down his cheeks like leaves falling from a tree in the fall. He was trembling and hiccuping out of control. He was clearly trying to hold back the tears, but miserably failed. “Kiri-Ei..Eijiro… hey.. hey, it’s gonna be okay..breathe..” he spoke in a tone that reminded Kirishima of cinnamon and sugar. It calmed the redhead. Bakugou held Kirishima closely, trying to put together the very confusing puzzle pieces.

 

“I..*hic* I.. I can’t escape fr.. from *hic* the nightmare..” Kirishima manages to mumble while he continues to uncontrollably quiver with pure pain in his tear-filled eyes.

 

“What nightmare? Ei... Who did this to you? I’ll beat their asses!” The blonde clenched his fist, but soon relaxed as Kirishima’s clammy hands cling to Bakugou's shirt desperately.

 

“N-no..*hic* I’m…” the redhead chokes on the tears that seem to endlessly spill from his delicate eyes. “Ba-Bakugou p-please don’t leave me a-*hic* alone!” Kirishima nearly yells while hugging the blonde desperately. He cries loudly in between coughs, and tears spill onto the sheets. Kirishima shakes uncontrollably and grasps Bakugou's hand tightly.

 

“I… c-cant brea..the!” The boy tries scream, but Kirishima’s strangled voice doesn’t allow him too. Bakugou knows what’s happening. He knows Kirishima his having a panic attack. Bakugou puts aside his pride and breathes slowly, holding a Kirishima tightly.

 

“It’s okay Ei. I’m here, please calm down.. breathe. I’ll… I’ll protect you.” He holds the sobbing boy, stroking his head gently. “You’re safe here, Ei. I won’t let them hurt you..” Kirishima's panicked breathing had seemed to slow down, and his grasp on the blonde had been relaxed. “That’s it.. breathe.” Kirishima looked up at Bakugou, tears still welling up in his eyes.

 

“I… I’m so sorry Katsuki.. this.. this is so embarrassing…” his lip tremble as more tears seem to stream down his cheek. Bakugou gently strokes Kirishima’s cheek, wiping the tears from the boys saddened eyes.  

 

“Don’t be embarrassed… Ei.. are you okay?” Kirishima takes a deep breath, bringing his hand up to Bakugou's.

 

“I am now..” the blondes eyes widen, and holds the redhead closer.

Kirishima looks at Bakugou, barely able to keep his tired eyes open. He smiles softly at him and lies his head back near the blondes chest. He sighs and whispers loud enough that only a Bakugou can hear:

 

“I love you Katsuki…” he yawned and nuzzled closer. Bakugou turns as red as Kirishima’s hair, nearly having a heart attack. He can’t help but smile, despite his trying to hold it back.

 

“I fucking love you too, idiot…” he looked down and noticed the redhead was finally asleep. He looked around the room noticing the lamp on Kirishima’s desk had been left on. He groaned, slowly sliding out of Kirishima’s grip and standing up. He trudged over to the redheads surprisingly clean desk, barely keeping his heaving eyes open. He yawned, reaching for the switch, but he took notice to a note on a Kirishima’s desk titled “My dearest Katsuki”. Bakugou couldn’t help but be curious, so he took a quick glance back at Kirishima to make sure he was still asleep. And sure enough, there he was. The  redhead slept peacefully, clinging to a nearby pillow in Bakugou's place. He brought his attention to the note and slowly opened it. He read it very closely, making sure not to miss a single word.

 

My dearest Bakugou  Katsuki,

I’m sure you’re probably wondering why. But I assure you, this is most certainly for the better, trust me. Anyways, let’s just get something clear. Katsuki, from the moment I laid eyes on you, my world changed in an instant. Everything was colorful. The sun shined brighter, the grass was glistening and the wind seemed to sing your name. No matter how reckless and aggressive you may be, you still lured me in, and never ceased to amaze me. Your daring crimson eyes, and your fluffy blonde hair drew me in. I didn’t stand a chance. I fell hard. I love you, Katsuki Bakugou. Without you, I may have never known what love even felt like… As you know, my parents are villains, and left me alone within seven years of having me. I was on my own. I managed to pull some money out my ass, and got through middle school. I somehow got into UA with the ongoing dream of mine: I wanted to be a hero. But things came to a screeching stop, as the world became uglier than it already was. The light ceased to exist. I would scream, Katsuki. Every night. No one heard a sound. Apparently times haven’t changed. My quirk is bland and useless, and I’m fucking weak. I can’t sleep anymore. I can’t keep this act up anymore. I don’t have any money, no parents, and the only thing keeping me together is my friends, I’ll miss you guys. Please don’t blame yourself for this. I just want to go home.. I want to be happy. Besides, my death was my own choice. And I chose to be freed from this bone chilling nightmare I’m endlessly trapped in. I’m so sorry Katsuki.

 

Eijiro

 

Bakugou's vision seemed to blur worse and worse every sentence he read. His head jerked as he worriedly looked to see if a Kirishima was still there. Surely enough, he was still sleeping peacefully on his bed. Bakugou’s brain could not comprehend what he just read. Was that Eijiro’s… no… it can’t be… The blondes eyes welled up with tears as he came to a very unsatisfactory conclusion. This wasn’t a love confession. It was a suicide note. Bakugou felt like he was going to puke. He desperately looked around the room, searching for answers. He grasped the note tightly while he silently sobbed, realizing that his beautiful Kirishima had thought these dark and horrifying things, and he did absolutely nothing about it.

 

“oh my fucking god.” Bakugou jumped at this anonymous voice, soon realizing it belonged to kirishima. Kirishima was sat up in his bed, staring at the blonde. His hands were trembling as he was trying to hold back tears. “P-please tell me you didn’t read that..” Bakugou ran over to the redhead and hugged him as tightly as he could.

 

“Eijiro! I…” the blonde was now sobbing and looked Kirishima in the eyes. “I can’t even imagine living in a world with you gone! It wouldn’t even be fucking worth it!” He squeezed Kirishima tighter, trying to hold back the explosions brewing in his palms. “I’d be so if lost you left me all alone! You’re everything! Please don’t leave me Eijiro, I fucking need you! I love you, you can’t just fucking leave!” The blonde looked up at kirishima, searching for an answer.

 

“You saved me, Katsuki.” Bakugou froze.

 

“W-what the fuck do you mean?”

 

“I… I was going to do it tonight.” The redhead hid his face in his hands, sobbing ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘I didn’t mean it’ repeatedly. The blonde was completely shocked, barely even able to form words, let alone thoughts.  

 

“Eijiro-“ Bakugou climbing back onto the bed with the sobbing boy, and lied next to him. He wiped the tears from his own eyes, smiling. “You’re still here. That’s all that fucking matters. I’m so glad you’re here..” he held the redhead as Kirishima continued sobbing into his own hands. “You’re safety means everything to me you fucking idiot.. I should’ve said something before.” He held the boy closer, rubbing his back soothingly.

 

“Please forget this e-ever happened… please.. I.. I’m okay.. your here. You’re all that matters, k-Katsuki…” the redhead managed to croak. Bakugou sighed and closed his eyes. “L-let’s just be normal boyfriends, okay k-Katsuki? We can get a fresh s-start” Kirishima wiped his eyes and looked up and the blonde hopefully.

 

“I’ll fucking protect you.” He pecked a kiss onto Kirishima’s cheek, taking a deep breath. Kirishima laughed softly, which really confused Bakugou, due to the mood being so dark.

 

“Can we get get tea tomorrow?” The redhead hiccuped and smiled at Bakugou. Bakugou gently wiped Kirishima’s tears from his soft cheeks and smiled back.

“Of course we, can you fucking idiot.”

 


End file.
